Trapping a Man -- June 20th Blog
To get those who are NOT on myspace caught up...here was Tuesday's Blog
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Trapping a man
Ok girls, once again, I hope that you will allow me to try to work this out here on paper, knowing full well that I am neither a writer or a very good thinker even sometimes!! But I have been hit again with some incredible Biblical truths (I am so thankful God still HITS me with theseI need to be smacked around sometimes!) and so I felt the need to share.
And yes..its about boys--so get ready--be prepared to be mad, confused, but most importantly excited that your life is in the hands of a sovereign God, a God who is intimately involved in your life!!! So no matter how mad or confused you get, take it back to Gods word and wrestle it out with Him! And I want to emphasize once again, that I only share to make you think and to help you discuss these things with your parents. My hope and prayer is that these will help foster discussions with those of you who have Godly parents, so that together you and your parents can work through this!!!! If you do not have Godly parents, then start praying for God to bring a Godly couple into your life so that you can go to them with these issues to help guide you. We ALL need to be getting guidance for older, wiser Christians!
This is for all of you who have said to me, whether it be 6 days ago, or 6 months ago, that you really were developing feelings for a guy, and you wanted to know what to do! You want to tell him how you feel, even if it means being rejected, just so that you will know where you stand. Or you think that if you tell him, it would help him to see you, notice you, or make some kind of move towards a relationship.
Maybe for some of you, its to the next phase--feelings have already been communicated by both parties but nothing else has happened yet and your getting frustrated. You're thinking he may need some help with this whole "relationship" thing.
And since I have NO wisdom of my own..and I surely have not made good decisions in the past, I only can take you to one place--the source of all wisdom--and that is God's word!
1. God has created us as women to be responsive to mens leadership. This is clear throughout Scripture, not only in the created order and our calling to be helpers (Gen. 2:18-23), but in the commands for a wife to submit to her husband (Eph. 5:22-23) . If we seek to take matters into our own hands and do something about a situation such as this, we are depriving a man of an opportunity to fulfill his God-given calling to lead. Truly believing in the importance and significance of our femininity means living it out, even in the pressure cooker of strong desires. We must resist the temptation to allow our feelings and desires and not Gods Word dictate our direction. Dont you ultimately want a guy who is attracted enough to pursue you, without needing hints from you?
2. God is sovereign, loving, and wise. But this guy I like hasn't pursued me. How do I resolve the fear that he won't notice me unless I take some initiative? You may ask. Enter: the character of God. Human reasoning would say that this is incentive enough to buck the created order. However, we must hold fast to Gods Word and trust in His character. God is intimately involved in every detail of our lives (down to the hairs on our head). We must trust that His sovereignty is more than powerful enough, His love is more than true enough, and His wisdom more than knowledgeable enough to fulfill His perfect plan for us. This perfect plan may or may not include the desired relationship. But it will most definitely be for our good. Here is a great theme verse for all single women Psalm 84:10-12 For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!
3. God rewards our trust in Him. We don't say no to our feelings and yes to Gods Word without a fight. And yet, there is joy and peace and freedom to be had. Waiting and responding instead of initiating romantic relationships is not some kind of manipulative trick. It is the path to true attractiveness, the miraculous kind that only comes by the grace of God producing trust in God. For truly blessed is the woman who does not sinfully strive after a relationship, but quietly rests in the goodness of God!
The answer--KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, KEEP YOUR ACTIONS PURE, AND KEEP YOUR MIND FROM DREAMING OF WHAT IF?
Ladies, I know this seems counter intuitive to what you want to do. I'm sure you will have friends who will tell you that this guidance is wrong. I know I do! I had a well meaning friend just last night once again encourage me to find a church with a large singles group in it, just so that I could meet someone. Is that really the purpose of the church? Is God really dependent on me scouting out a man to fulfill HIS will in me?
Don't get caught in the trap of leaving a trail of bread crumbs, so that some poor boy is walking along grabbing the crumbs and stuffing his face, and next things he knows he's your man--all you've managed to do is lure and trap a guy. You need to be spending time in God's Word, spending time serving others, spending time building your relationships with your GIRL friends, spending time with your FAMILY--if you engross yourself in these things, youll be deep in the FOREST of God's will for you and any man that sees you in that forest and wants to pursue you, should have to CUT HIS WAY THROUGH. HIS Effort not yours. Thats the Godly man that you want!
So what bread crumbs do we girls tend to drop? more on that tomorrow!
*********************************************************************************
Trapping a man
Ok girls, once again, I hope that you will allow me to try to work this out here on paper, knowing full well that I am neither a writer or a very good thinker even sometimes!! But I have been hit again with some incredible Biblical truths (I am so thankful God still HITS me with theseI need to be smacked around sometimes!) and so I felt the need to share.
And yes..its about boys--so get ready--be prepared to be mad, confused, but most importantly excited that your life is in the hands of a sovereign God, a God who is intimately involved in your life!!! So no matter how mad or confused you get, take it back to Gods word and wrestle it out with Him! And I want to emphasize once again, that I only share to make you think and to help you discuss these things with your parents. My hope and prayer is that these will help foster discussions with those of you who have Godly parents, so that together you and your parents can work through this!!!! If you do not have Godly parents, then start praying for God to bring a Godly couple into your life so that you can go to them with these issues to help guide you. We ALL need to be getting guidance for older, wiser Christians!
This is for all of you who have said to me, whether it be 6 days ago, or 6 months ago, that you really were developing feelings for a guy, and you wanted to know what to do! You want to tell him how you feel, even if it means being rejected, just so that you will know where you stand. Or you think that if you tell him, it would help him to see you, notice you, or make some kind of move towards a relationship.
Maybe for some of you, its to the next phase--feelings have already been communicated by both parties but nothing else has happened yet and your getting frustrated. You're thinking he may need some help with this whole "relationship" thing.
And since I have NO wisdom of my own..and I surely have not made good decisions in the past, I only can take you to one place--the source of all wisdom--and that is God's word!
1. God has created us as women to be responsive to mens leadership. This is clear throughout Scripture, not only in the created order and our calling to be helpers (Gen. 2:18-23), but in the commands for a wife to submit to her husband (Eph. 5:22-23) . If we seek to take matters into our own hands and do something about a situation such as this, we are depriving a man of an opportunity to fulfill his God-given calling to lead. Truly believing in the importance and significance of our femininity means living it out, even in the pressure cooker of strong desires. We must resist the temptation to allow our feelings and desires and not Gods Word dictate our direction. Dont you ultimately want a guy who is attracted enough to pursue you, without needing hints from you?
2. God is sovereign, loving, and wise. But this guy I like hasn't pursued me. How do I resolve the fear that he won't notice me unless I take some initiative? You may ask. Enter: the character of God. Human reasoning would say that this is incentive enough to buck the created order. However, we must hold fast to Gods Word and trust in His character. God is intimately involved in every detail of our lives (down to the hairs on our head). We must trust that His sovereignty is more than powerful enough, His love is more than true enough, and His wisdom more than knowledgeable enough to fulfill His perfect plan for us. This perfect plan may or may not include the desired relationship. But it will most definitely be for our good. Here is a great theme verse for all single women Psalm 84:10-12 For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!
3. God rewards our trust in Him. We don't say no to our feelings and yes to Gods Word without a fight. And yet, there is joy and peace and freedom to be had. Waiting and responding instead of initiating romantic relationships is not some kind of manipulative trick. It is the path to true attractiveness, the miraculous kind that only comes by the grace of God producing trust in God. For truly blessed is the woman who does not sinfully strive after a relationship, but quietly rests in the goodness of God!
The answer--KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, KEEP YOUR ACTIONS PURE, AND KEEP YOUR MIND FROM DREAMING OF WHAT IF?
Ladies, I know this seems counter intuitive to what you want to do. I'm sure you will have friends who will tell you that this guidance is wrong. I know I do! I had a well meaning friend just last night once again encourage me to find a church with a large singles group in it, just so that I could meet someone. Is that really the purpose of the church? Is God really dependent on me scouting out a man to fulfill HIS will in me?
Don't get caught in the trap of leaving a trail of bread crumbs, so that some poor boy is walking along grabbing the crumbs and stuffing his face, and next things he knows he's your man--all you've managed to do is lure and trap a guy. You need to be spending time in God's Word, spending time serving others, spending time building your relationships with your GIRL friends, spending time with your FAMILY--if you engross yourself in these things, youll be deep in the FOREST of God's will for you and any man that sees you in that forest and wants to pursue you, should have to CUT HIS WAY THROUGH. HIS Effort not yours. Thats the Godly man that you want!
So what bread crumbs do we girls tend to drop? more on that tomorrow!
posted by KB at 9:58 AM
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